As I mentioned in an earlier post, Nashville, Tootsie’s, And Handing Someone Their Ass, I recently did the tourist thing in my hometown with a bunch of out of town friends. Yes we took our turns on a sin wagon. Wandering from venue to venue, I noticed something. Every band that had a female singer did a rendition of “Goodbye, Earl”. You remember – that song by the Dixie Chicks on their Fly album released in 1999. 1999, the good old days before a person with a vagina would never have the audacity to express a personal political opinion. Oops. Natalie Maines happened to express her disagreement with W’s ginned up war and then all hell broke loose.”Shut up and sing!” Country music fans had a conniption fit, radio stations stopped playing their music sometime in 2003, because ‘Murica! Many of the ex-fans had to take to their fainting couches due to an attack of the vapors. What an idiotic fiasco, especially when you consider how these very same “patriots” behaved when the U.S. elected its first bi-racial president. Twice. Take a look at Charlie Daniels Facebook page sometime. No really. He posts the most hateful, racist, borderline treasonous vitriol. And I don’t see anyone burning his sucky CDs in the street. He is such a hypocrite, I’d be afraid to stand any closer than 10 feet from him. I would expect a lightening strike at any time. Two words for him, his grunts, and all the anti-Chick losers out there: ignorant hypocrites. But I digress.
Back to the point. Every music venue plays the song, either live or on piped in music. That’s when I began to notice a curious phenomenon.
When the song begins, every woman in the place first screamed with excitement. All of us. Girls there for 21st birthdays, bachelorette parties, 30th, 40th, 50th birthday celebration. Women who ran the complete gamut. All women. No men.
And every single one of them (my group included) sang at the top of their lungs, every single word of that song. Some of those girls were barely out of diapers when Earl had to die. It’s a great song. It’s many people’s go-to karaoke song (this writer included). So clever, upbeat, fun, and with a happy ending!
What I found so interesting was the fact that Goodbye, Earl – a 17-year-old song about two best friends poisoning and disposing of the body of a wife-beating domestic abuser – seems to resonate with so many women.
Why do you think that is?
Is it because we all have a man in our lives we’d like to kill sometimes? Is it because women, despite all the advances we have made, are still treated like second-class citizens, as some politicians of a certain religious bent want nothing more than to walk us back to the 1800s. The weaker sex, my ass. Is it because actual restraining orders and the like are ever truly enforced? Domestic abusers are pretty much allowed to run wild and free, even after a police report is filed. Fact: Law enforcement is supposed to confiscate the firearms of these guys. Do they? The only answer anymore is MORE GUNS! ” If that woman had owned a gun, that never would have happened.” I can hear them now. Is it as simple as the fact that women love the idea of having at least one friend close enough to help them dispose of a body, if necessary. We do treasure our girl friends.
I suppose the answer lies in the grey areas between all of the above. Or maybe it’s simply a subconscious fantasy all females share. Passed down through our DNA.
In the mean time, I have the most delicious recipe for black-eyed peas. Hit me up if you’d like it.
The Middle-Aged Ingenue 
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