beauty

Across The Universe

/ One Scary Mom aka middleagedingenue / Leave a comment

namaste

Of course we are aware of the concept of “putting things out into the Universe”. Sending out positive energy, t. You might also say you are giving it to God.  Praying. Meditating.  Call it what you will.  I believe it’s all the same action and serves the same purpose.

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup
They slither wildly as they slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my opened mind
Possessing and caressing me…

Myself, having arrived at my spiritual beliefs by way of a rough and rugged road. I prefer to light a candle and waft those weighty concerns, aspirations, yearnings, and gratitude like a transcendent mist into the vast, great ether of mystery.  To be quiet, still.  To visualize the results. To listen. Those actions provide me with a sense of peace and an awareness that I’m not alone and my longings aren’t simply falling upon deaf ears. They have a destination. Where their journey ends, I may never know.  But that isn’t important to me.  It’s the interaction with the Great Unknown, the Universe, that fortifies me.

Manifesting a reality. That on which you focus expands. That is the end-game for all of this, right?  The goal. The reason we believe in something greater than ourselves. We are all connected.

Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes
They call me on and on across the universe
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box
They tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe…

Do you believe that we ultimately get what we give?  That you reap what you sow?  In karma?  That the energy we expend to the wider world and beyond comes back to us in some form, at some point?  That which we don’t understand is still an answer; sometimes it comes in the form of a lesson. Let’s tune in and pay attention. Imagine if we saw each obstacle, as well as each other, as an opportunity to learn, grow, and love. Easier said than done, trust me.  I’m no where near mastering that challenge.  I am still a child.  But it’s what we all strive for.  Something, a desire, a goal, a hope for another is put on your heart.  How do you accomplish what is seemingly impossible?

I find myself cyclically fighting the same inner battles and struggling with some of the same issues, time and time again.   All we can do is to keep trying. Trust ourselves and listen to our instincts, our hearts, the collective consciousness. To have an open heart and an open mind.  Focus on the positive. Do good in the world. Desire the change. Visualize, manifest.

Let go.

Something’s gonna change your world.  I know it.

Sounds of laughter, shades of life are ringing through my open ears
Inciting and inviting me
Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns
It calls me on and on, across the universe

*With all love and respect to the great John Lennon, I prefer the Rufus Wainwright version.  It’s so impactful and visually stunning.

One

/ One Scary Mom aka middleagedingenue / Leave a comment

1 wall

One is enough. Forever. In fact, it’s one too many. Traumatizing, it is.  More so than seeing that first crow’s foot.  Or when you realized you couldn’t just cut a few calories, work out a little and lose 10 lbs. in a week.  This one – there’s a finality to it.  And base, raw humiliation.

Most women (and probably some guys) “of a certain age” know what I’m talking about.  That one stray, discolored fiber on the carpet. That tiny little spot on the rug.  More than likely, very few people will even have the opportunity to see it, let alone notice it.  But you know it’s there.  Down there.  Like a big, giant gray neon sign flashing “You’re old!  You’re old!”

Next you’re faced with the dilemma – what do I DO with this invader?  Pluck? Dye?  Ignore? Accept?  Dispense with the whole business? (Ouch)  Watch the Sex in the City episode where it happens to Samantha so you don’t feel like such an elderly freak?  (Season 6. Episode 12, for future reference.)

Or flaunt the fact that you have no filter and write about it in hopes that others will commiserate with you.

Or write an ode to it:

O Bastard wire 

You are the most loathsome

Because you are solitary

You are the harbinger

And I curse you to Hades

You’ve heard the saying “Getting old is not for pussies.” ?   Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but horrifyingly enough, it is.

The Gauntlet Has Been Thrown

/ One Scary Mom aka middleagedingenue

Oh, Cindy.  You’ve done it now.

Cindy C

Edit: Since I posted this, I’ve been told this photo is fake.  But it is still ON, Cindy. 

The legendary supermodel Cindy Crawford recently released  an unretouched photo of herself in lingerie.  First of all, I applaud her. In a society where so much of a women’s worth is measured by appearance, I think this was a very brave act. She looks like a normal middle-aged mom.  A pretty good-looking one at that.  With the  average size of the American woman today being a size 14, she is normalizing normal.   Bravo!

Vain creature that I am, however,  I take this photo as a challenge.  By the summer, I hope to be posting my own similar photo. Without the fur or feathers or whatever that is.  I see this as possibly the only opportunity in my lifetime to be able to say that I rival Cindy Crawford in a two-piece.  Yep, I can jack up my boobs and tone up the old abs.  I’ll never have the height, but my daughter does have a fedora I can borrow.

What this photo has really done is set me back on a regular course of exercise, which I desperately needed to do anyway.  It wasn’t that long ago that I spent half the day, 6 days a week at the gym.  I worked with personal trainers who nearly killed me.  Although I haven’t been completely sedentary, I’ve slacked off quite a bit since my gym rat days.

Winter is a crappy time to work out, especially to start a routine. Your natural instinct is to hibernate, cook and eat.  At least mine is.  My exercise of choice is hiking the hills in the beautiful parks near my home. And I am NOT doing that in below freezing weather.  Sorry.   I’ve been using our elliptical and weight machines, and adding to my routine gradually.  Regular exercise releases endorphins and they go a long way toward an improved mood.  We all could use a bit of that, with this nasty, gray winter we’ve had.  With me, it also becomes something of an obsession.  Once I get in the routine, I feel guilty if I miss a day.  (I know, I’m working on that obsession thing.)

So thank you, Cindy, for posting this photo.  You’re an inspiration for the over-40 crowd.  You’ve also inspired me to get up offa my thang and get my ass back in gear.  I appreciated that.  We can all use a good swift kick once in a while.