Edit, 2018:  It’s a Christmas Miracle, y’all!  The Man Who Would Be Hitler has brought back Christmas!  Rest easy, my friends. Happy Holidays!

Because this nonsense has slithered its way back into the public discussion.  I wrote this a few years ago.

Look at this:

And this:

Because they’ve started so early, so will I.

The Kid and I were at the mall last week (before Halloween, mind you) picking up the final details of her costume. (Blue rock candy – meth.  If you have to ask, may I recommend Breaking Bad as your next Netflix binge?)  Imagine our surprise when, nearly a month before Thanksgiving, we see the mall totally decked out in their holiday finery.  Christmas music over the loudspeakers. Hell, the Hickory Farms kiosk was even set up.  Having Christmas shoved down my throat before I’ve even swiped the first piece of candy from The Kid’s trick-or-treat stash –  not cool. I’m pretty sure I quite loudly uttered a profanity or two during that shopping excursion.

But wait – you think this is early?  A friend of mine posted photos on Facebook, back in September, of all the Christmas displays at Hobby Lobby.  They know all about Jesus up in there.

I used to love Christmas.  The excitement, the spirit, the whole “good will toward men” business.  The shopping & wrapping, the cooking, the decorating, the visiting – loved it all.  Then something shifted.  I started hearing about this “war”.  This fake, bullshit meme about Christians being persecuted over the celebration of their highest holy day.  And it all started with a certain “news” outfit to gin up outrage, fear, hate, a way to portray the vast majority of Americans as victims. Per usual. And people bought it. Per usual.

I’m here to tell you that those “war on Christmas” assholes are all batshit crazy.  Go to any retail outlet right now. I guarantee it looks like Santa took a big mouthful of holiday spirit and did a nationwide spit-take.  Because it’s sour.  It isn’t ripe yet.

Oh, there is a “war” on Christmas alright, but it isn’t because of some atheist, heathen, Christian-hating agenda. Or the Socialist, Kenyan, Muslim President trying to take away not only your guns but your Jesus’ Birthday Celebration as well.  It’s because of what is represented in those photos posted above.  Like  A Charlie Brown Christmas has been saying for 49 years,  it’s the commercialization of the holiday that has ruined it.  Taken the “Christ” right out of it.

The meaning and spirit of the holiday have been tainted,  it’s been completely bastardized.  Disgusting.  The “Jesus Birthday Season” indeed.  The ostentatious spectacle of it all.   And the Faux News personalities and sheeple eat it up.  Eat. It. UP.  The earlier they can deploy their Christmas troops, the better.  Total crap.

You know what I think about when I see Christmas decorations in September and October?  Greed.  Debt.  Mob mentality. Corporate overreach.  Rich men, camels, needles.

And these words  “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.  But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” That’s what Christians are supposed to be doing at Christmas, right?  Worshiping. Not making some pointed political statement or “my religion is better than your religion” power play.

I’m not a Bible thumper – not anywhere near.  I simply believe if you’re going to devote an entire quarter of the year to celebrate this man’s birth, you might want to pay attention – just a little – to what he had to say. As Chris Rock says “Jesus was the least materialistic person ever to roam the Earth”. I can’t say for sure, but based on what I’ve read, I believe he would be appalled.

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t begrudge people who shop early, put up the trees in their homes before Thanksgiving, any of that. That’s cool.  It’s your house and your business.  Your celebration. Happy holidays! The only issue I have is that you make me look like a slacker.

What I don’t like is feeling manipulated.  And that’s all this is about – the decorations in September, the message that the more you spend, the more you love your family.  “War on Christmas” is just another tool to get you to spend and feed the corporate machine. The machine that feeds the corporate politicians and propagandists.  It’s not about Jesus or Christianity on any level.  It’s about division and fear and hate. Basically, just like everything else coming out of the right-wing bullshit machine

I’m here to warn you – the first time this fall I hear “War On Christmas” or see it flung all over my Facebook or Twitter feed – look out. After I school you on how what you’re celebrating actually has its roots in paganism,  I might just decide to (symbolically, maybe) shove a candy cane up your wazoo. Minty fresh!

Happy Holidays.

“Selfishness is the father of all evil.” – Buddha

All evil is rooted in selfishness.  Take any evil act, boil it down to its essence – what remains is some form of egoism.

Evil has always been with us, since the beginning of time, demonstrated in a multitude of ways. One needs only a casual understanding of history to see this fact illustrated time and again.

Evil is insidious and nefarious. Evil seeks to distort and deceive. Evil will say anything to get others to do its bidding. Evil is the ego run rampant. Evil is a liar. Evil is a narcissist. Evil holds allegiance to no one or nothing other than itself.

Evil owes nothing. Evil gives nothing. Evil is selfish.

When you make a deal with the Devil,  you’re a fool if you expect the Devil to uphold his end of the bargain.

Evil’s objective is complete control. 

Some people give themselves over to evil willingly. They recognize a commonality, a kinship. A shared desire or goal.

“Evil is saying what we’re thinking!  Evil hates the same people we do! Evil can do something for me!”

Evil can lead its agents to jeopardize and sacrifice themselves, their loved ones, their futures simply so it can relish the suffering of others.

Evil is cruel. Evil is sadistic. Evil alienates. Evil divides.

Evil can masquerade as piety, zeal, devotion. Evil loves to embed itself in politics and religion, to cloak itself in the disguise of righteousness. Evil thrives on the illusion of superiority and supremacy.

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”                  – Maya Angelou

Evil has been allowed to colonize, to fester, and infect our country. We are presided over by a malignancy that has shown us, for its entire life, its true nature. What it always has been. What it always will be.

We live among advocates of evil who are proud, egotistical, willfully ignorant, stubborn, and spiteful. They harbor anger and hatred. Evil offers them validation for their prejudices, contempt, self-loathing, and hostility.  Evil tells them that their own selfishness is appropriate, justified, and the most important thing.

Evil is inherent to the human condition and we must learn to co-exist with it. We cannot allow it to spread its toxins and poison what is good. We must identify it. Expose it. Attempt to control it. Disarm it.

Now, more than ever, we must fight for the soul of our society.

Let me start by saying this is NOT a religious post.  It is about basic moral principles, and how human beings should know, without being told, the decent way to treat one another.  Because obviously, most of them don’t have a clue. “You will know them by their fruits.” Indeed.

There’s a verse in the New Testament of the Christian Bible that goes something like this:

“The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown in the fire.”

I’ve been doing a bit of land clearing lately myself. Hacking down those diseased trees that bear rotten fruit. Liberating my soul from the tangle created from years of neglect and overgrowth. Carefully pruning the dead wood from the vines that ensnare my peace of mind. It’s an arduous task, but every time I fell another tainted tree, saw off another afflicted branch, or release myself from another nasty snarl, I feel healthier, more empowered, and even a little bit hopeful.

Being my own advocate.  I’ve never really had a true advocate.

My newly discovered lumberjacking skills have led me to deactivate my Facebook account. Which, for someone like me, feels like lobbing off a body part. An amputation. Facebook has been part of my daily life for years. It has been my main mode of communication, source of information, and forum to promote my work.  Most of my friends and family live inside Facebook. Friends, who, even though we don’t agree on every little nuance, we still honestly like and respect one another. We can have civil conversations without insults and hyperbole. There are also people who I like, love, even, and want to continue doing so, despite some of their deeply misguided, offensive posts and comments. On both sides of the aisle, I might add. They just can’t seem to help themselves.  I want them to continue to like me as well. They sure as shit won’t if I allow them to continue to piss me off and I let my true feeling be heard.  It’s for their own good.

I came to realize that Facebook and I were in a dysfunctional relationship. Facebook has been fueling negativity since 2008.  It’s only getting uglier, meaner, stupider. Bullies. Facebook was making my life miserable, and I, like any co-dependent worth their salt, was trying to fix it. I have been around long enough to know this is IMPOSSIBLE.

So I did the only thing I knew to do. Take care of myself.

So I chainsawed that motherfucker right down to the stump. I hurled its filthy chunks into the pit of hell fire. I listened to it crackle and rupture as it transformed to ash. I let the sweet, acrid smoke wash over my body as I watched it waft into oblivion. No mercy.

And down will come baby, cradle and all. 

There’s a freedom in realizing that there are some things you cannot change or control. Other people, their beliefs and actions. They’re going to have to do that all by themselves. Some never will.

I know that what I can change is my experience with these challenges.  Trust me, this epiphany does not mean that I’m going underground and I’m not going to fight, tooth and nail, for my deeply-held beliefs based on kindness, justice, and what is honorable.

I will continue hiking through the tangled labyrinth, machete and ax in hand, clearing the path to expose the mind field of assholes as I wander on my journey.  I’ve stepped on enough of those.

• Yes, I realize I’m going to have to reactivate the son-of-a-bitch account to promote this post.  But that’s the ONLY reason.  No nasty comments, either. Your negativity will fall on deaf ears.  Go whine to your new dictator. He really cares about you. 

You’ve seen reporters do it on shows like 20/20 and Dateline. They go into hotel rooms that are supposedly nice and clean, turn off the lights, and shine that little UV blacklight  around. More times than not, the light uncovers things unsavory and unsanitary. Disgusting.

Every four years – Presidential election years particularly – the giant UV light is shined upon our country. The results are the same as the hotel rooms, except much, much worse. We are shown all the filth that contaminates our country. Especially on social media. Some posters cannot abstain from posting their nastiest, most inappropriate thoughts. If it’s really something heinous, like a death or rape threat, I usually screen capture it and keep it in my little secret file. You never know when they might come in handy.

“Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.” ~ George Carlin

This is one reason I no longer argue with or acknowledge their obscenities and displays of racism, misogyny, and unadulterated hate. There is a difference between passion for an issue and going too far. I think most reasonable people know where that line is. Contentious posts tell me everything I need to know about a person. My current preferred method of dealing with this inevitable phenomenon is to unfollow or delete and block them. Do not engage. “People are entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts”. I love this quote by Daniel Patrick Moynihan.  It might serve everyone best if they did a little research before they haul off and fly off the handle.  Now, if someone posts directly on your page or account, or mentions you by name on their page, you then have my permission to rip them a new asshole in a private message. Or simply take the high road and deal with it privately. Then delete and block them.

If you really want to see the worst of the human race, go to the comments section of any Southern local newspaper or television station. Those comments, in most cases, are terrifying. Especially when you realize those people have the right to vote and are your neighbors. I swore off those years ago.

Angry, berating behavior serves only to cause nothing but discord and animosity. It causes conflict between friends and families. There is a possibility that someone like, oh, your boss might see the nastiness. After something is posted on social media, it becomes public domain.  And the arguments never, ever end with the changing of minds.  But people can’t resist it. Attacking loved ones, friends, and strangers alike. Entire groups of people. Just because they believe differently.  What I find the most

What I find the most loathsome of all are the folks spreading hate and lies in the name of Jesus. This is why I strongly believe that religion and the government should be kept far, far apart.  Within the Christian community, which I have the most experience with and knowledge about, from the very inception of the religion, there was division. Believers have split off into many different denominations. These denominations have split into different brands of themselves. Mega churches are cults of personality that have branched off from a denomination, usually focusing on money or the leader. Some just make it up as they go along, misinterpreting the Bible to suit their own personal agenda  You can find division and enmity between people in every congregation.  Trying to legislate a particular religion simply doesn’t work AND it is unconstitutional.

What’s the answer to all this?  I have know idea, but I do know one way to start. BE KIND TO EACH OTHER!  It’s that simple.

Just be nice. Please?

Move along now folks. Nothing to see here…

https://youtu.be/iCQ0vDAbF7s

I am SO retro!

I have a confession to make. Sometimes I do things that aren’t good for my body. I’m a sugar addict with hypoglycemia. I skip working out so I can write, sitting on my ass for hours on end. I like drinking, particularly Jack Daniels. Not drinking to excessive excess, but a couple (or 4) cocktails occasionally, very rarely – I’m not above it. I don’t get enough sleep and I have a tendency to skip meals when I get really focused.

But I don’t smoke. I never drive after drinking, and I don’t eat fast food or fried things. I have pretty much cut out soft drinks of my diet.

Alas, there is one thing I do that is seen today as the Holy Grail of Horrible.  I still sunbathe, or as we call it in the South, “lay out”.  I still rub that Hawaiian Tropic oil with no sunscreen on my legs and bake myself for as long as I can stand it. I do use sunscreen on the more sensitive areas – my chest, my face – those areas will age if they get too tan for too many years. I’m also careful with my neck, shoulders, and back. I use a different SPF for every area. I believe I, at least, look better with a little color. Fortunately, I rarely burn, and I hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. With water, not Jack Daniels.

People always think I’m making up stuff when I tell them that 2 of my doctors suggest that I get at least half an hour of sun every day. For the vitamin D, and it is beneficial to an autoimmune disorder I have.

I consider my getting a tan a public service. I still wear shorts. Not the “to the knee” kind either.  No one wants to look at my pasty white legs in shorts.  The tan does make them look better. Healthier, younger. This way, the view is a little more pleasant. You’re welcome.

I’ve used just about every self-tanner ever created with varying results. There’s a new one by Banana Boat that is the best so far. It’s not expensive and it doesn’t have “the smell”.  And no sparklies – a dead give away for the tan in a tube.

This is the stuff.

Applying self-tanner is something of an art in and of itself. It takes practice and a strategy. If you’re not really careful, it can look terrible. I’ve also done the spray tans at the salon. Two words about those: Donald Trump.  Also, I do not do tanning beds. I don’t trust them and I’ll be lying in a coffin soon enough, thanks.  That’s why I prefer the real thing.

As I mentioned earlier, there is an art to building a tan. If you’re hell-bent on the real thing, the key is starting slowly, say 10-15 minutes on each side. Make sure you are using sunscreen. As you begin to notice color, increase your time very gradually and decrease your SPF very gradually. If you are patient and go about the process slowly, you will have a nice sun-kissed tan. Drink lots and lots of water. So much that you have to pee on a regular basis. Dehydration is a bad thing. Take extra care not to sunburn. My pick for the best sunscreen is CeraVe SPF 50. I always use it liberally on my face, chest, and other areas more apt to burn, wrinkle, or freckle. Those spots that don’t get as much sun – to even out your look, use the self-tanner.  Probably the best advice is to use the self-tanner only.

I’m old and from that sun-worshipping generation. I’m aware that with the issues with the ozone and global warming, sun exposure is different than it was when we spent nearly every summer day at the pool or the lake.

Old habits are hard to break.  Everyone has a vice.  Mine happens to be sunbathing.