Fashions come and fashions go. Being a 25-year-old in a none-of-your-business aged body, of course I want to be in style and not look like I shop in the Koret’s separates department. Nor do I want to look like a teen prostitute. It can be a fine line to walk.

If you follow trends, looks like this spring my beloved skinny jeans are going the way of the dinosaur, replaced by mom jeans (what sadist thought THAT was a good idea?) and bell bottoms (yes, I have already bought some).  But for the most part, you will still find me in my skinny jeans because 1) I’m short and they don’t swallow me or come up to my neck 2) they hug my legs, which are still in pretty good shape, and 3) they make my ass look great, if I do say so myself.  I’m way too old for those butt-cheek showing shorts that are everywhere in the summer. I never wore those when I could have pulled it off.  I’ll be sticking to my 5″ Old Navys and Gaps, thank you very much.  That’s pretty daring for most women my age.

I’m also very protective of my Uggs. Fashion “experts”, bloggers, and fashion magazines have for years been saying they’re not in style anymore. They’ve always said they’re ugly, unflattering, bulky unless you wear them with a mini-skirt and naked legs.  So now they tell us we’re all supposed to prance around in $1,000+ heels, regardless of the weather. Those fashionistas know nothing about living in the real world, apparently. It gets cold where I live. It snows where I live.  I don’t have a driver or a doorman, so you will never see me running errands in Blahniks, Zanottis, or Louboutins.  Actually, you will never see those on my feet. Even if I had an unlimited budget, there’s no way I would pay that much for a pair of shoes. Think of all the good that money could do put toward a worthy cause. Absurd!

You know what’s NOT in style – frost-bitten toes, bitches!

So, during the fall and winter, I will be sticking to my trusty Uggs. Granted they’re not glued to my feet – I’m still fashion-forward enough to follow trends within reason. But when there’s snow and slush on the ground and the temperature is in the teens, you can bet MY feet are going to be warm and toasty tucked into the luxurious, furry comfort of my Uggs. No magazine editor or red-carpet critic is going to shame me. Because I just don’t care.

Out of style or not -if you want me to stop wearing them, you will have to pry them off my snug and cozy dead feet. That’s MY kind of 2nd Amendment.